I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Someone came in the potted fern
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
