Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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