First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
