I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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