I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
