how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
