I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She is in my trunk
I think my vagina is haunted
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
