we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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