the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
