Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
