Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
