dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Randomize
