i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How external is "for external use only"?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
