I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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