I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
