No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You're like the curious george of whores
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
