he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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