i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
