I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
