Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
