The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
