Where is the hickey?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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