Apparently you make a good broom.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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