I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
