Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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