First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And then he peed in my hair
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