It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
