if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
