Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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