who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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