Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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