She announced her abortion via fbk
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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