i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
