Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
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i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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