nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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