Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
