At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
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