I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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