So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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