based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
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we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize