Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
