well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
