i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
