Buhtt sex?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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