How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
