I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
