So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish I only lived at night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
