Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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