Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
