So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
zippers are such a cool invention
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
