My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize