we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
