I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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