Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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