You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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