she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
