There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
