So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
