I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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