I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize