Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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