Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
