Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
