is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
