Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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