So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
