she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
