This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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