And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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