We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
