i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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