I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Pooping to opera.
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